


Wax

by SociallyAwkwardFox (Maze_Runner_Fae)



Series: JayTim Secret Santa 2016 [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Anxiety, Candles, Coping mechanism, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Happy Ending, Injury, M/M, No Dialogue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 16:47:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8924647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maze_Runner_Fae/pseuds/SociallyAwkwardFox
Summary: Throughout Tim’s life, there’s him and his candles and, eventually, Jason. He doesn’t need much else.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Skalidra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skalidra/gifts).



> This is, by far, my favorite of the three fics I did. It’s all in Tim’s POV and there’s absolutely no dialogue. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Next fic will be up tomorrow. Enjoy!

He’s only six years old the very first time he smuggles one of the candles his mother keeps on the side tables in the parlor into his room. There’s no parents there to catch him in the act or nanny to explain why that’s not something suitable for a person of his age to be messing around with. It’s just him and the small box of matches he found under one of the guest bathroom sinks when he was bored and exploring one day. It only takes him a few tries to figure out how to strike a match properly-he’s far too intelligent for a six-year-old, as people often like to remind him-and lights the small blue candle sitting on the window bench.

At first, he doesn’t find anything interesting about the flickering orange flame, then he gets up to turn off his bedroom light and suddenly he understands it. Even though he knows it’s too small to give off much heat, he feels a warmth spread through his body as he watches the flame dancing pleasantly in the dark room. He feels more calm than he has in a long time and he nearly ends up falling asleep kneeling on the floor with his head pillowed on his crossed arms. The third time he catches himself starting to drift away, he sleepily blows out the candle and crawls under his warm duvet for some much-needed rest.

In the morning, he hides the box of matches back in his closet and stealthily returns the candle to its proper place. Part of him expects one of his nannies or maids to somehow know exactly what he did, but none of them seem to notice the only candle with freshly melted wax sitting amongst the others. For the next couple of months, he takes random candles from around the mansion when there’s no one around to berate him and smuggles them back before anyone can notice. He doesn’t even consider getting some to hide away in the same box as his matches, until he finds one during one of his nightly adventures following Batman.

The wick is already blackened from use and there’s an obvious crack in the glass container, but it’s the same bright red as Robin’s suit and he can’t find it in his heart to put it back down. Later on, he places it reverently on a small plate and lights the slightly scorched wick. It takes a couple of tries, but the candle bursts to life filling the room with a wonderful cinnamon smell. That night he doesn’t sleep a wink, he watches as wax drips through the crack and creates a bright red pool around the container.

One hidden candle leads to another and by the time he’s ten, the box in his closet is full of candles in various stages of life. The one that reminds him of Robin gets taken out every night, but he never burns it to preserve the small amount of red wax still left. Most of the others he burns with little regard for the dwindling contents, he simply enjoys the peace they bring him and replaces it when it’s gone. There’s no questioning it becomes a habit to spend his evenings surrounded by candlelight and he often runs out of fluid in the lighters he nicks from wherever he can get them (the back pockets of smokers, spilled over garbage, little cracks they must have gotten lost in).

Things change when he becomes Robin. His days are spent pretending to be a normal kid in school and his nights are filled with solving crimes and fighting bad guys. Oddly enough, there’s a certain repetitiveness to it that he hadn’t expected and plenty of stress (that he had seen coming). There isn’t much time to bask in the candlelight and destress after a long day of hard work, but he still finds ways to make it work.  It gets easier after he becomes a Titan and begins to split his time between Gotham and San Francisco.

His room at the Tower has at least one candle on every flat surface and he spends as much time as possible enjoying their warm glow. The other occupants of the tower often joke about him slowly turning into a real bat, but he knows they understand. Kon destroys punching bags and Bart eats and Cassie is liable to disappear for a few hours and Tim has his candles. They don’t ask questions and they don’t poke and prod to force him out of his shell. There’s friendship when he wants it and solitude when he needs it.

It doesn’t surprise Tim one bit when Jason ends up turning his entire world upside down. He fights as passionately as Tim remembers and with more skill than most of the people Tim has gone up against in the past. He’s strong and agile and confident and everything else a great warrior should be. After their fights, Tim’s always left with a bittersweet taste in his mouth and a need to drown himself in candlelight. It’s painful in the best sort of way-the kind that makes him feel more alive and out of control than he’s ever been. Tim supposes it should be disconcerting, but it just feels right. Like his life has been leading up to these moments-fight, candles, sleep, repeat-always with Jason.

The dam of tension between them breaks in the most unexpected of ways and leaves Tim reeling for days afterwards. Out of the blue and only a brief second. Jason takes a bullet to the chest, so Tim doesn’t have one imbedded in his skull. It’s over in a flash and Jason doesn’t even slow down his movements as he takes down one thug after another. The only reminder that Jason saved his- _The Replacement’s_ -life is a small dent in the chest plate of his body armor. When all is said and done, Jason leaves without a word and it’s different in a good way.

Three days later, Jason breaks in without setting off the alarm Tim has set up on his window and sits quietly across from Tim at his kitchen table. It’s domestic in a way Tim’s never known could be possible before this moment. He types up his reports, drinks coffee, and enjoys simply being in the company of someone else. All the pressure he normally feels during social situations isn’t gnawing at him from the inside out. Jason’s presence feels natural and safe and warm, like his candles.

Once a month turns into once a week turns into every other day turns into a daily routine, that throws Tim off if it happens to change. There’s no denying he gets antsy the week and a half Jason leaves with Roy and Kori to do something Tim has been determinedly keeping his nose out of. For the first time in months, he lights every candle in his apartment and meditates on the couch to relax his body and mind. It does enough to let him focus on the cases he’s been working on, but he still feels an awful jitter just under his skin.

Jason drops his bags the moment he walks through the door and Tim doesn’t even try to stop himself from jumping on him. His ankles lock right over Jason’s tailbone and he digs his heels in to keep his body from sliding down. A grunt of pain passes through Jason’s lips, but he doesn’t complain about the slightly rough treatment. Instead, he places his hands under Tim’s rear and lifts him up a little higher. There’s no magical kiss or sudden downpour of rain. They merely press their foreheads together and breath in each other’s company. It’s exactly what Tim needs and so much more.

No one notices the change in their relationship. Tim and Jason’s territory had become _their_ territory, long before their relationship became more. Some nights they work cases together, others they go out on their own, but they always come back to their apartment. There aren’t any lingering touches or stolen glances in the field or the Cave. They don’t do anything that would make the others even think they were more than just partners in vigilantism. Everyone, including two-bit criminals incapable of plans more complicated than steal, now refer to them as The Reds. Naturally, Dick ribs them endlessly for it, but nothing that comes out of his mouth is serious.

The only difference Tim even notices after they start dating are the little Jason touches now all over what used to be his apartment. There’s a drawer of Jason’s cloths in the dresser, his toothbrush sits next to Tim’s on the sink, there are random books strewn all over the apartment. Now when Tim comes home from work, there’s always a worn leather jacket hung up on the coat rack by the door. Nine times out of ten, Jason cooks dinner because Tim could burn water and he finds the activity soothing. His apartment feels like more of a home than the mansion he grew up in or the manor he stayed in during his days as Robin. It fills him with warmth every time he stops to think about it.

Jason doesn’t ask about the candles until they’ve been together for six months. He brings it up over a dinner he cooked because he knows it’s Tim’s favorite and it always puts him in a good mood. There’s obvious hesitation in his eyes, but he powers through the awkward question that spills out of his mouth. For a few seconds, Tim doesn’t know how to answer. No one has ever bothered to ask why and the fact it’s Jason asking, makes things more daunting. In the end, it’s easy.

Not long afterwards, Tim starts getting little gifts from Jason that always have candles inside. He never gets the same scent twice and they come in various sizes. Some are little tea candles he keeps on his desk and others are large three wick candles he places around the apartment. A few times a month, they have dinner by candlelight and enjoy each other’s company for as long as they’re allowed. On nights Tim needs the kind of peace only his candles bring him, Jason sits quietly nearby and reads whatever book he’s infatuated with at the time. It’s on one of his bad days, he realizes that Jason has become a constant in his life, like the melted wax and orange light of his candles.

The first time they make love is by candlelight. There’s nothing rough or animalistic about it. It’s nothing like how sex has been described to him in the past, so he refuses to call it anything but making love. The entire time Tim feels like his body is exposed and at the mercy of the man hovering above him. He knows that should make things absolutely terrifying and awful, but it’s Jason and things are always different where Jason is concerned. Jason has always and would always be different.

Afterwards he goes over it all in his head, while Jason runs his hand feather lightly up and down the still trembling muscles of his back. The glint of the orangey light off Jason’s tanned skin, the steady rock of their bodies rhythmically against each other, opened mouth kisses left along his neck and chest. He remembers Jason whispering Tim’s name in his ear like a prayer and fisting his hands in the sheets next to Tim’s head. As time went on, he remembers the building emotion between them. So raw and powerful, that they had been the thing to push Tim over the edge. In that moment, he had felt complete. Like every fiber of his body knew exactly where it belonged and that was with Jason.

He curls tighter into Jason’s body and watches the wax dripping slowly down one of the candles Jason had placed on his bedside table. It makes him feel exceedingly young and infinitely old at the same time, like his body is being pulled in two different directions. The sight is so mesmerizing, he can’t pull his attention away from the slow slide and stop the warring in his head. For once, his candles don’t make him feel calm. His body yearns for darkness and sleep and Jason. Before he even realizes what’s happening around him, Jason blows out the candles and settles comfortably back into bed with Tim pulled tightly against his side.

Of course their relationship isn’t easy. Some nights they have screaming matches because one of them nearly died protecting the other. They miscommunicate and get angry and have fights like every other couple on the face of the planet. Occasionally, they go to bed upset with one another and fix things in the mornings, but they never stay mad at each other for long. Their relationship continues to grow stronger and before Tim knows it, they’ve been together for a year and a half. The realization is simultaneously shocking and expected.

The night Jason proposes, Tim walks into the Cave expecting a briefing on the drug ring they’re all working together to take down tonight and finds candles instead. Hundreds of them are scattered around the Cave so artfully, Tim is ninety-nine percent sure Jason got help from Alfred. It nearly brings tears to his eyes because this must have taken hours to accomplish and Jason did it all for him. There are so many different colors, Tim isn’t even sure he can name them all and in the very middle is the Robin red one he kept all these years. He’s so entranced by the flickering lights, that he doesn’t notice Jason down on one knee in the middle of it all, until he’s standing right in front of him. There’s a beautiful speech, tears shed, and eventually Jason slips a simple titanium band onto Tim’s ring finger.

Jason manages to plan the wedding with Alfred’s help in four short months. It’s simple and they only invite their closest friends and family, but Tim wouldn’t have had it any other way. They both write their own vows that make everyone’s eyes go a little misty when they say them and exchange wedding bands. The reception is held outside in Wayne Manor’s large garden, where fairy lights and neatly decorated tables have been set up in the middle of it. There’s a lovely blue candle in the middle of each table, instead of the typical flower arrangement. The little touch has Tim pulling Jason into a long kiss, causing several of their friends to wolf whistle loudly. It makes Tim smile so wide his cheeks start to hurt.

They go to Europe for their honeymoon on a month-long tour of all the countries Tim ever mentioned wanting to visit. There’s nothing for Tim to stress about, except whether he has enough sunscreen to keep from burning the moment he walks outside. Their days are spent in absolute bliss for the first time in their relationship. The two make love on a Valencia beach at sunset, hold hands as they maneuver the busy streets of London, debate literature while they drift along the canals of Venice. Tim adores every second of it, but still can’t wait to get back to Gotham and their lives there. He misses the freedom of swinging from rooftop to rooftop and taking out bad guys.

Things go back to their version of normal when they return to Gotham and Tim is more than grateful for that. No one treats them differently now they’re the married couple on the team or tries to pry into their personal lives. They find being married doesn’t change their relationship in the monumental way people say it’s supposed to. The only difference Tim even notices is that he now has to sign his name Tim Drake-Todd on every contract, instead of Tim Drake-Wayne. Jason still makes dinner most nights and Tim upgrades their tech and the two go out to clean up the streets of Gotham together. Tim loves every second of it.

Years go by without much getting in the way of the routine they develop, save the occasional trip to follow up on a lead, then Jason gets hurts. The building goes down before he can get out and Tim spends forty-five agonizing minutes trying to dig him out of the rubble with the help of Dick, Stephanie, and Damian. His right leg is crushed and he’s hardly breathing, but the small girl he covered with his huge body barely has a scratch on her. The hours Jason spends in surgery are the absolute worst of Tim’s life and Stephanie eventually drags him away, so he can calm down the only way he knows how to do on his own. That night he uses up the last of the Robin red wax of his favorite candle and falls asleep with dry tear tracks visible on his face.

A rift develops between them as Jason struggles through months of gruelling physical therapy with no sufficient outlet to unleash his anger. They have more fights than when Jason first came back to Gotham and they leave Tim feeling like a lost child. Screaming matches end with Jason slamming fists into walls or throwing books across whatever room they’re in. Coming back to their apartment starts to make Tim dread the end of the workday and he throws himself into WE and Red Robin assignments. He sleeps less and barely eats and struggles to keep from falling apart.

The final straw comes when Jason gets so worked up he sleeps on the couch, rather than their bed. Tim desperately tries to sleep without the familiar warmth of his husband at his back, but he tosses and turns too much to drift off. The room begins to feel much too big for him and he’s taken back to his childhood so quickly, he nearly gets whiplash. He stumbles to the bathroom and carries as many candles as he can fit in his arms back into the bedroom. It probably takes him much longer than it should to set all the candles safely around the room, but he can’t find it in him to care. He carefully lights all of them, then curls up in a ball in the center of the bed. Sleep never comes and all the wax is totally melted by the time dawn peeks through the bedroom window.

When Jason slowly pokes his head into the room, Tim can see the exact moment regret hits him like a freight train. Tim watches him struggle to navigate all the small containers of melted wax, but he can’t move his body to help make it easier on him. Something keeps Tim rooted to the spot and for the first time in a long time, he feels dread as Jason gets closer to him. He knows Jason would never physically hurt him, but their relationship has been slowly crumbling out from under them and it would only take a few words for Jason to make all of Tim’s fears a reality. Part of him is already preparing for his heart to be obliterated, while a different part clings desperately to the hope they can fix this.

What eventually happens falls in the middle of Tim’s worst fear and his most optimistic scenario. Jason moves out by lunch with nothing, except two duffle bags and his second favorite leather jacket. It’s Jason that suggests they take time apart to cool down, so they can start rebuilding their relationship again. He’s also the one to suggest couple’s therapy and find a suitable therapist they can talk to without having to worry about their secret identities. Slowly things get better between them and Tim uses his candles less and less to cope. The day Jason moves back in, he brings a gift wrapped in red paper and makes them a dinner they eat with only candlelight illuminating the room.

The day Tim packs away every candle he owns, he puts them in the attic of their new home on the outskirts of Gotham. Jason tries to convince him he doesn’t need to leave them all packed away, but Tim waves him off as he finishes unpacking the rest of the kitchen utensils. He starts to wish he didn’t as the night goes on and he clings to Jason’s arm, since he doesn’t have his candles to calm him. It’s all worth it in the morning when he gets to hold their baby girl in his arms for the very first time. There are tears in his eyes and he can’t help the shaky laugh he lets out after Jason buries his face in the side of his neck. Tim forgets about the candles.

Adjusting to life with a child requires endless nights sans sleep and lots of people giving them advice on parenthood. Both of them are used to going weeks on end without sleeping, but the advice sometimes gets under Tim’s skin. When he starts to question his abilities, Jason is always there to convince him otherwise and remind him they have a little girl who loves him. Watching her grow up fills him with so much love and joy, he occasionally doesn’t know what to do with it. Experiencing it all alongside Jason, makes everything even better than he could have ever imagined before he met the man who became his husband.

Riley turns six years old the day Tim comes home to find his baby girl and Jason sitting in the middle of the living room surrounded by candles. There’s a bright smile on her face that puts the flickering lights to shame and Tim wants nothing more than to gather her up in his arms. Instead he fights the urge and takes a seat next to Jason on the floor, so he can enjoy some time with his family. Jason frees one of the arms he has wrapped around Riley’s waist and pulls Tim tightly into his side with a small kiss to his temple. They watch the wax slowly melt as a family and Tim feels completely at peace with the two people he loves most in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it and have a fantastic day!


End file.
